Building the ideal guest list can be one of the most complex decisions in the wedding planning process. After all, no one likes to feel cut out, but at the same time, this day isn’t about everyone else. It’s about you and your (soon-to-be) spouse. 

So answer this for us: whenever you think about your perfect day, do you envision an intimate gathering of only close friends and family? Or do you picture all those who have made a lasting impression on your life and want to share this moment with them too? 

The great thing is, there’s no right answer. Your wedding day is purely about you and your partner, and however you believe you would feel most loved and supported, that is the direction you should go. 

Because whenever you look back on your big day, the decor and the music and all the tiny details will be nice, of course, but those in attendance are what really will make all the difference.

Read on to learn more about building the ideal guest list, things to keep in mind, and tips to help you do it!

Other reasons building the ideal list matters

Building the ideal list also matters heavily because the size of your list will affect every other area of your wedding.

Take a moment to think of everything that encompasses a wedding. Big things like the budget, venue, florals, and even smaller details like parking, beginning and ending times, etc. 

Each of these things is affected by the number of people you have in attendance; this is why your guest list matters.

Each person attending your big day is an added chair, an extra meal, another drink & party favor, and one more place at the table. It is another car in the parking lot and another person to add to the flow of the crowd whenever you’re trying to get your guests from one area to another.

So when building out your list, you’ll want to keep in mind a couple of things: your budget AND your aesthetic. 

Do you have the capacity to invite everyone? Furthermore…do you want to invite everyone? If you’re looking for an intimate feel, inviting 200+ people won’t exactly give you that. But if you want a venue packed with your favorite people and have the budget for it, then full steam ahead. 

Tip: Be ready for opinions

We want to preface this by saying this is easier said than done. 

But once you start planning your wedding, you’ll often find that those around you, some with the best of intentions, will have LOTS of opinions about your big day. 

And just to reassure you: though this is normal. But it’s best to keep in mind that at the end of the day, what matters most is your preference. Our loved ones often share what they want for us and our big day out of a place of love. But since deciding what size wedding you want is one of the first decisions you’ll make, you need to do so unswayed.

While it’s customary that all wedding party members, immediate family, friends, and significant others of an invited guest are invited, any additional guests are at your discretion and should not pressure you into being added.

Note: if parents are contributors to the wedding, they should be given more freedom to invite some desired guests.

Actionable steps towards building your ideal list:

1. Consider the style of wedding that you want. Keep in mind that there is no wrong answer, and you can be as specific and unique as you want. The amount of people in attendance influences the intimacy and style of your wedding.
2. Keep in mind your wedding budget. Remember that each guest is an added meal and eventually an added table, chairs, place settings, etc.
3. Count up the number of family members and attendants you and your partner have. This will help you know what number you’re starting at. Sometimes it’s easy to miscount how many family members and close friends you have. Writing them down by name will help create a realistic baseline.
4. Create an A list and a B list. We know this can be hard because it can sound like the people on your B list are less important. But the difference between an A list and B list is simple. Those on the A list you could NEVER imagine getting married without. Those on the B list are people you would love to be there if the budget and priorities allow. 
5. Lastly, compare your budget and your max list and make cuts based on that.

Building the ideal guest list is one of the most important things you’ll do in bringing your dream wedding to life. So dedicate time to creating a list both you and your partner are happy with! 

Do you need more help in creating your ideal guest list? Click here to join our email list today and get FREE access to our Wedding Vault! Inside, you can download more guest list tips, guest list trackers, and so much more!